what i didn't post on instagram

"everybody loves waterfalls and peonies - @reubenmarkstewart"

For myself Instagram has been a platform where I've been able to express my creativity & styling. Being able to make use of a powerful platform to connect and create with others has been a life changing thing for me. Like others, I've always used my tiny space on the internet to carry out positivity & continue to grow my brand.

A few months ago I stumbled across Thought Catalog & how they created the "what I didn't post on Instagram" collection. They began using submissions where people would describe what was actually going on in their life at the time when the photo was taken, rather than the caption that leads others to believe everything in one's life is perfectly fine.

I wanted to create this blog post for quite sometime, but the moment was never right & I felt at the time things were too fresh in my life to be using my platform to talk about this. Nothing is ever perfect & that's the truth. In the above photo I captioned a funny moment between Reuben & I while shooting. If you follow me you would know that the above photo would be a dream to me, surrounded by flowers & in a beautiful bohemian set. The reality of that day was that I was saying goodbye to a place & a person I once called home. A few hours before this shoot I had been crying all day & finishing packing up all my belongings. For a few months after I would be posting on Instagram photos where it seemed like everything in my life was perfectly fine, when in reality I had completely fallen apart on the inside. I would have days where I would see a glimmer of light, but for what seemed like the longest time I wasn't myself & I felt completely uninspired.

I am so happy to say I am in a much better place now in my life. To be honest I am more myself now than I ever have been, & for that I am grateful. I have my days where I get sad when I think back, but know that I am where, and who I am suppose to be. I wanted to write this post as a reminder that we specifically choose what parts of ourselves we want to share with others on the internet. Being able to go through all the stories others shared with Thought Catalog was exactly what I needed. When things are going bad in our lives & you feel completely broken, we tend to think that everyone else around us is so happy. We feel extremely alone when in reality so many people are relating to exactly what's going on in your life. Remember when you feel this way you are not alone & there are so many people who would love to help you including myself. Writing this blog post definitely makes me feel vulnerable, but I strongly believe in using a platform to discuss reality & spread awareness.



Thought Catalog Blog Post